All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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