HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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