Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
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The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
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I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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