Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
