Don't make out with my wife yet
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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