he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
