I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
