My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
