I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
