I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
