Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
No subtext here. People are naked.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
