I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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