I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Help. Why am I so naked?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
