how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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