The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm really into asian looking animals
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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