Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
