He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
