I feel like abortions should bother me more
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
