Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
