youre lurking in front of me
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
