Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
