I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
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The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
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The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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