he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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