First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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