: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
