It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
