He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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