The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
