So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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