As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
