dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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