i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
