There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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