They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
