Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
apparently the secret to your success is patron
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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