Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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