She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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