There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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