how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You can't motorboat a personality
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i've created a new STD.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
