she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
