so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
