i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
