i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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