Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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