your thong is hanging out like whoa
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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