that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
