I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize