There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
