he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
