I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
