Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
