i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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