I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize