She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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