just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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