She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The air taste purple.
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