her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Bring me that man meat
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
