I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
