do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
